still_grrr | 018: What Might Have Been (Reply)

Title What Might Have Been
Author Tabitha (sl_podcast)
Rating: G
Word Count: 251
Prompt 018: Tracey
Characters/Pairing (if any): Mal
Author's Note: AU, Post-BDM

It is my fault. If Doc hadn't stitched Tracey up, fixed him good - he wouldn't be sitting in the pilot chair right then.

I was his Sarge, he was my private. I was supposed to protect him.

Sure the black is an unforgiving place. I learned that the first time the sky lit up over Serenity Valley. I saw redemption in those lights, until I realized it was anything but redemption.

Tracey was a good kid. He could eat a can of beans anywhere. Smart kid. He deserved a better death than what he got.

After we saved his life, he stuck with the crew. Wash found out what a good pilot he was and he started sharing shifts. Tracey was flying when we ran towards Mr. Universe's moon. Right stupid move on my part - but sometimes stupid's all ya got.

The only mercy of Tracey's death was how fast it was. Wash I believe, blames himself. Says he should've been in that chair, but I know the truth - if anyone's to blame it's me. It's the war. Kaylee cries herself to sleep every night. They were sweethearts for too long. Love muddles things up and Kaylee's crying muddles me.

We're taking his body back to his folks. They were able to move to a warm place after we sold off the Lassiter, at least Tracey can be buried under the sky - the only place a man can be free.