I am a little bit confused by this piece, I think because you used pronouns instead of stating a name once. I saw the characters so this is suppose to be about Dru's sister, if Angelus had tortured her instead of Dru?

It is a great idea but I think it needs some clarification, maybe saying her name, saying that she saw her other two sisters slaughtered (and mention Dru there). I think that would make the piece a little more cohesive.