007: Survival [Eve]

[remember-nomore.livejournal.com]

Last one promise :)
Title: Survival
Author: remember_nomore/simply_shiny
Rating: G
Word Count: 422
Prompt: n/a [Minor Characters Week]
Character: Eve

sur-vive:
- To remain alive or in existence.
- To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere
- To remain functional or usable

What does survive and survival really mean? Making it from one moment to the next for some people could be a meaning of survival in a way, giving them a small triumph over whatever inner turmoil they are dealing with.

There are more important things to think about surviving when living in my world. An all out war on a secret society compiled of the most powerful evils on this planet is what comes to mind.

Hell on earth was unleashed by the firm when Angel decided to wage a war against The Black Thorn.

Why did he think he could win? I don’t understand how he could have honestly believed that he could fight them and win. Then again I think that was the point - to fight to the death – a suicide mission. Even at the expense of his life, the lives of his friends and those who fought beside him. Vampire or not he wasn’t invincible; vampires aren’t much more then humans. Even with a soul.

A vampire is still a vampire, if not more fragile then humans with their vulnerability’s to sunlight and wood. How invincible could you really be if you could be easily disposed of by a bucket of blessed water?

No matter how much the firm put into my mind when I was a liaison I still couldn’t rationalize that, any of it; even now as a human.

I don’t know why I thought that Lindsey and I could win against Wolfram and Hart in secret. Not just them, but Angel and his band of almost do-good freaks as well. We actually had the notion that together we could bring them down and Lindsey would end up where he belonged; running Wolfram and Hart in stead of running from them. Me of course at his side and out from under the firm’s grasp.

Thinking back I realize that there were too many cards stacked against us, too much weighing down and crushing us under it before we could make our way in. So many things left unsaid and not worried about…questions unasked and left unanswered.

What’s going to happen tomorrow?

Where are we going to go?

Do we have a future together?

Lindsey, do you really love me or was I just a tool to get back at Angel?

But he didn’t want to dwell on things, he said he was content on making love to me in that office, whispering in my ear all the things we would do after the battle and how much of human life he’d prove I was missing. Teasing me with the image of him making me this domestic housewife, one who cooked and raised our kids on some desolate farm in Oklahoma.

All the while, blocking out the world and living in our fairytale.

”We don’t live in a fairytale.”

He didn’t understand.

I didn’t understand why he was helping Angel now after everything. It was Angel’s fault that Lindsey was sucked into that hell dimension where he had his heart cut out daily for weeks. Angel ruined our plans and now Lindsey wanted to help Angel with his…

Never will I understand his desire and loyalty to Angel; I’ve long since gave up trying.

All chances of understanding and learning about this human life that was never experienced but drilled into my head was gone. One simple action snatched it all away from me.

Everything I ever wanted and dreamed of having died last night; it died with Lindsey when he didn’t come back to me. Maybe it died even before that; it could have been the time that he called me Darla in his sleep… or that night I came home to our apartment he only wanted to know what was going on with Angel.

I stood in that building and looked out of the window, watching the sky fade before it grew bright again. Not with the sun, but with fire and rage that only the Senior Partners could invoke. It crumbled beneath me, in front of me and then finally above me…

”Go where?”

I guess it comes down to…I didn’t survive last night.