still_grrr | 135 Ficlet Call and Response (Tara) (Reply)

Title Call and Response
Author Bruttimabuoni
Rating G
Word Count 201
Prompt 135 The Scoobies react to Joyce’s death
Characters/Pairing (if any) Tara (with Anya, Xander and Willow)

So, it wasn’t just me. When Mom died, I thought I was alone. Thought I was going mad. But now I can see everyone feels like this; I can recognise every reaction around me. I had them all.

Their thoughts echo round the dorm room. So loud even this semi-witch can catch them. I don’t pretend to be wise – only experienced in loss. I want to speak out; tell them what they will discover for themselves. But grief won’t be hurried. So I don’t say much.

I’ve never felt so alone in a room full of people before. It’s shock. It will pass. You’ll reconnect.

I don’t know how to behave. What should I be doing? There’s no wrong. But it’s not all about you.

If this can happen, anything can happen. Yes. It’s scary, but it’s freeing. Life isn’t fixed any more.

I want to take the pain away. Even if it means hurting myself instead. New pain is still more pain, in the end.

I wish it was magic. I understand magic. This is reality. It’s harder.

How can this be the end? Everything ends. But it’s always sudden.

It’s not fair. It’s scary. Who’ll be next?

I don’t have the answers for everything.