157 fic: So many memories we've yet to make (Willow/Tara)

[mierke.livejournal.com]

Title So many memories we've yet to make
Author Mierke
Rating PG-13
Word Count 529
Prompt Slash or femslash pairings (prompt 157)
Characters/Pairing Willow/Tara
A/N Originally written for the Big Bang Alt challenge at whedonland. I didn't have time to write something new.

Dear Willow,

There were so many things we still had to do. So many paths we still had to take. So much love we still had to share.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I’m not there for you, I’m so sorry I’m not there to strengthen you and to hold you by the hand. My heart aches for you. I wish I could have been there with you to guide you on your path, to find the path together. I want to care for you, like you did for me when I was lost, so lost in my own body.

When I think of you, I remember. I remember the times we were together, I remember the love that we shared. I think of how we connected on every level, I think of how it felt to hold your hand when you were crying and how it felt to hold your hand when we were doing magic. I think of your smile and of your innocence.

It was difficult to see your rage. It was difficult to see your need for revenge. It was difficult beyond belief to see you do the things you did. But the most difficult was seeing your self-hatred.

You never thought high of yourself. You always thought that I made you special, that I was the one who made you shine. You always thought you needed the magic to be someone. Can’t you see that we all loved you for who you are? Buffy is not your friend because you’re a witch and Xander doesn’t love you because you can do magic. Giles cares for you, beyond your magical abilities. You are more than the magic, Willow.

I wish I could make you see that. I wish there was some way for me to reach you and touch you and whisper to you that you are special. That you’re not special because you are a witch, but that you’re special because you are Willow. The kind soul who is always willing to help others.

I know you’ve done some awful things. I know you feel guilty, and I know that you should feel guilty. There is no excuse for what you’ve done, there is nothing that will make killing someone right. But what someone does when they’re driven by grief, it doesn’t define them. You are more than your acts of revenge.

I am so proud of you. Magic has brought you so many things, dark and light, and I’m so proud of you for willing to learn more about what it is and what it means. I am so proud of you for having the courage to look at yourself, really look at yourself and examine what you know and don’t know, what you are and what you’re not.

I love you, Willow. I love you with my whole being and I’m with you. I’m in every breath of wind, in every touch of sand. You will never lose me.

Love,
Tara

That’s what she would write, if there was any way to contact Willow. Tara looked at the girl she loved and her whole being filled with love and pride. If only…

Comments

[kerkevik.livejournal.com]

Hmm...

hard to say this was one to enjoy, but it feels very true to Tara's 'voice'. I loved seeing them together at the time, but I've wished many a time since that Tara had kept her head and stayed away from Willow, until she could be sure of her own path, let alone Willow's.

Great stuff,

Still under Willow & Tara's spell,
Ray.

[mierke.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

[laucus.livejournal.com]

Aww. Even though this was sad, I like how there's a bit of sweet with the bitter in that Tara's still watching over Willow. And Tara would be proud, wouldn't she?

[mierke.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

Yes, I think she would be. Willow's come such a long way and Tara would have been proud of all that she had achieved. She has really learned from her mistakes.

[angelus2hot]

How beautifully sad, but wonderfully written!

[mierke.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

[cmk418]

Beautiful. It's very true to Tara and the relationship that she and Willow shared.

[mierke.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

I'm very glad it sounded true to them.