165 fanfic: Distraction
Apr. 11th, 2010 11:22 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
mierke.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
still_grrrTitle: Distraction
Author: Mierke
Fandom & Disclaimer: Buffy’s not mine, it’s Joss Whedon’s. I’m just borrowing his world and very thankful for the chance.
Pairing/Characters: Kendra
Prompt: 23. A creek for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
story_lottery and 165. Kendra for still_grrr
Words: 1008
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/Timeline: Set after What’s my line (2.10 & 2.11)
She had left the cemetery, where she had been patrolling, to follow the creek, hoping it would give her some kind of serenity. Maybe the presence of the water would have a calming effect, or maybe the sound of it flowing would give her a sense of peace. She hadn’t needed that before going to Sunnydale, a place to gather her thoughts. She blamed Buffy for that.
She blamed Buffy for a lot of things these days.
She was amazed by the number of vampires that rested near the river. She figured it gave them an easy to way to dispose of their victims; throwing the bodies in the water meant that nobody would find them, and that would make it easier for the vampires to survive. She wondered why she had never patrolled this part of the town before, the thoughts fleeting in and out of her head while staking one vampire after the other, thankful for the familiar feeling of achievement that that activity gave her. She was still as effective as ever, a quality she prided herself in.
Serenity, that’s what she needed. Or maybe it was stability. A feeling that life was right the way it was. That she was where she was supposed to be, and who she was supposed to be. She had never doubted for a second that being a Slayer was what she was destined to do, and she had never given a second thought to the life she could have had if she hadn’t been called.
Going to Sunnydale had changed all that.
The idea that there was another Slayer out there had shaken her to the core. It went against everything she had ever been taught, and that had scared her. That had been the first thing to turn her life upside down and give her this feeling of distress that she wasn’t used to. Unfortunately it had not been the last.
Because then she had learned that this Slayer had friends. Even a family. Worst of all, a boyfriend. That she didn’t spend all her time dedicated to her calling. This Slayer, she went to school and did homework and generally was a teenager and a Slayer at once. The confusing part was that she wasn’t even a worse Slayer for it. In fact, it might just make her a better Slayer. Even though Kendra was still withholding judgment on that part. Because really, having a vampire as a boyfriend? That was just wrong. Especially for a Slayer.
When she had come back, after she had told Mr. Zabuto about the vampires they had killed, she had reread her Slayer Handbook. She hadn’t told Mr. Zabuto about the friends or about the boyfriend. She knew he wouldn’t approve. After all, she could hardly tell her Watcher that she had helped save a vampire. She didn’t even really belief it herself.
Another thing to blame Buffy for. She didn’t even tell her Watcher everything anymore.
Mr. Zabuto hadn’t looked up when she had grabbed her Handbook to reread it, figuring she was studying, just as she had been so many times before. This time she had paid special attention to the part about the focus of the Slayer’s life.
The focus of the Slayer’s life has to be on her calling. To get the Slayer to this point, she will be removed from her family and, when need be, her friends, so they will not distract her. This will be done as early in her life as possible, so the Slayer will not fight against these changes, but instead fully embrace her destiny. This is why the Watcher’s Council sends his Watchers to every Potential it finds. She has to be shielded from the people around her, so she can’t form significant bonds with anyone. Without people who can distract her, the Slayer will be more focused and thus more powerful. Distraction is deadly; a distracted Slayer is no more useful than a mere human being.
She had read the paragraph time and again, so she could now hear the words in her head, as if they were rising out of the dust of the vampires she killed. She wondered who was right: the Slayer handbook or the Slayer she had met. She was glad when she suddenly found herself in a nest of vampires that distracted her thoughts for a while. And gave her an opportunity to work through her anger.
Anger. Another thing Buffy was to blame for.
She didn’t like questioning her life. She didn’t like that everything she had been so sure of had been twisted, because of some blond girl miles and miles away, who still lived because she had friends. It confused her that Buffy’s friends had revived her after she had drowned, meaning that her friends were the reason that there were now two Slayers. Her friends who, according to the Slayer’s Handbook, were a distraction that would surely get a Slayer killed, were the ones who had saved her life.
Kendra wondered for the first time in her life how her life would have been like if she hadn’t been called. Or if she hadn’t been found that early. Would she have had friends? A family? Would it have made her a different person? Would it have made her a different Slayer, maybe even a better Slayer? But how could it, when the Slayer’s Handbook was so set against it? There was a reason those rules existed, she was sure of that. She just couldn’t mend those rules with the world she had seen in Sunnydale.
It didn’t make sense. She couldn’t figure it out. So Kendra did the only thing she could. She wrapped the thoughts in a neat little box and put it in a locked part of a brain, like she had done for years with every feeling and thought that puzzled her. Because when trying to figure things out she was distracted. Distraction, she was taught, would get her killed.
And she didn’t want to die.
Author: Mierke
Fandom & Disclaimer: Buffy’s not mine, it’s Joss Whedon’s. I’m just borrowing his world and very thankful for the chance.
Pairing/Characters: Kendra
Prompt: 23. A creek for
story_lottery and 165. Kendra for still_grrrWords: 1008
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/Timeline: Set after What’s my line (2.10 & 2.11)
She had left the cemetery, where she had been patrolling, to follow the creek, hoping it would give her some kind of serenity. Maybe the presence of the water would have a calming effect, or maybe the sound of it flowing would give her a sense of peace. She hadn’t needed that before going to Sunnydale, a place to gather her thoughts. She blamed Buffy for that.
She blamed Buffy for a lot of things these days.
She was amazed by the number of vampires that rested near the river. She figured it gave them an easy to way to dispose of their victims; throwing the bodies in the water meant that nobody would find them, and that would make it easier for the vampires to survive. She wondered why she had never patrolled this part of the town before, the thoughts fleeting in and out of her head while staking one vampire after the other, thankful for the familiar feeling of achievement that that activity gave her. She was still as effective as ever, a quality she prided herself in.
Serenity, that’s what she needed. Or maybe it was stability. A feeling that life was right the way it was. That she was where she was supposed to be, and who she was supposed to be. She had never doubted for a second that being a Slayer was what she was destined to do, and she had never given a second thought to the life she could have had if she hadn’t been called.
Going to Sunnydale had changed all that.
The idea that there was another Slayer out there had shaken her to the core. It went against everything she had ever been taught, and that had scared her. That had been the first thing to turn her life upside down and give her this feeling of distress that she wasn’t used to. Unfortunately it had not been the last.
Because then she had learned that this Slayer had friends. Even a family. Worst of all, a boyfriend. That she didn’t spend all her time dedicated to her calling. This Slayer, she went to school and did homework and generally was a teenager and a Slayer at once. The confusing part was that she wasn’t even a worse Slayer for it. In fact, it might just make her a better Slayer. Even though Kendra was still withholding judgment on that part. Because really, having a vampire as a boyfriend? That was just wrong. Especially for a Slayer.
When she had come back, after she had told Mr. Zabuto about the vampires they had killed, she had reread her Slayer Handbook. She hadn’t told Mr. Zabuto about the friends or about the boyfriend. She knew he wouldn’t approve. After all, she could hardly tell her Watcher that she had helped save a vampire. She didn’t even really belief it herself.
Another thing to blame Buffy for. She didn’t even tell her Watcher everything anymore.
Mr. Zabuto hadn’t looked up when she had grabbed her Handbook to reread it, figuring she was studying, just as she had been so many times before. This time she had paid special attention to the part about the focus of the Slayer’s life.
The focus of the Slayer’s life has to be on her calling. To get the Slayer to this point, she will be removed from her family and, when need be, her friends, so they will not distract her. This will be done as early in her life as possible, so the Slayer will not fight against these changes, but instead fully embrace her destiny. This is why the Watcher’s Council sends his Watchers to every Potential it finds. She has to be shielded from the people around her, so she can’t form significant bonds with anyone. Without people who can distract her, the Slayer will be more focused and thus more powerful. Distraction is deadly; a distracted Slayer is no more useful than a mere human being.
She had read the paragraph time and again, so she could now hear the words in her head, as if they were rising out of the dust of the vampires she killed. She wondered who was right: the Slayer handbook or the Slayer she had met. She was glad when she suddenly found herself in a nest of vampires that distracted her thoughts for a while. And gave her an opportunity to work through her anger.
Anger. Another thing Buffy was to blame for.
She didn’t like questioning her life. She didn’t like that everything she had been so sure of had been twisted, because of some blond girl miles and miles away, who still lived because she had friends. It confused her that Buffy’s friends had revived her after she had drowned, meaning that her friends were the reason that there were now two Slayers. Her friends who, according to the Slayer’s Handbook, were a distraction that would surely get a Slayer killed, were the ones who had saved her life.
Kendra wondered for the first time in her life how her life would have been like if she hadn’t been called. Or if she hadn’t been found that early. Would she have had friends? A family? Would it have made her a different person? Would it have made her a different Slayer, maybe even a better Slayer? But how could it, when the Slayer’s Handbook was so set against it? There was a reason those rules existed, she was sure of that. She just couldn’t mend those rules with the world she had seen in Sunnydale.
It didn’t make sense. She couldn’t figure it out. So Kendra did the only thing she could. She wrapped the thoughts in a neat little box and put it in a locked part of a brain, like she had done for years with every feeling and thought that puzzled her. Because when trying to figure things out she was distracted. Distraction, she was taught, would get her killed.
And she didn’t want to die.
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