prompt 022 unseen ficlet

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Title: Scotch and Apathy
Author: divadea
Rating: PG
Word Count: 298
Prompt: 022 Unseen
Characters/Pairing: Wesley

 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried. Most nights, while the intoxication manifested as a dingy reel of This is your Life in his head, he watched from a distance. He watched as his mind created a black and white movie about the miserably failed watcher shift to the comical rogue demon hunter and mutate into the betrayer, jailer and numb embracer of all things destructive, including Lilah, scotch and apathy. He watched the biography, with only slight variations each night, rarely moving from his rumpled bed.

 

How many times had it been? 10? 15? 20 times that he’d woken to the lingering scent of her? He wondered from an abyss of emotional distance when this man had become so weak, when he’d become unable to care. He wanted to pinpoint the exact moment when it had all stopped mattering. It was as if each person was allotted only so much ability to fight, and he’d used his up. Wesley set his glass down on the bedside table so gently it made only the slightest dull tap on the wood.

 

Oddly, and unbidden, a vivid picture of Faith tromped right over his self-loathing and into the front of his consciousness. And as she appeared, the tears fell for the first time. He cried for Faith and her ruined potential. He cried for Justine and her twin sister. He cried for Lilah and wondered what horror of childhood or past life had turned her to stone. He cried for the love of Fred.

 

Wesley allowed his face to harden again, wishing that last image to remain unseen. He picked up his glass, drained it, and held it in his hand as he mentally rebuilt his sturdy wall of apathy. It would have to last him a while longer.

 

Comments

[wikedwitchmarie.livejournal.com]

*sniffs* Beautiful and tragic. A wonderful piece.

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.
I love your icon :)

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

Oh, well done!

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[skull-theatre.livejournal.com]

This is great! I haven't really allowed myself to look at Wesley in this light...because it's such a difficult thing to do - but you really worked this angle well!

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I love the complexity of Wesley.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

I have a weakness for Wes after he went dark, so thanks for this. Great last paragraph!

[divadea.livejournal.com]

A weakness many of us share :) Thank you.

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

Poor Wesley... but this is reminding me of a conversation my pseudo-sister and I had about Welsey and his drinking habits... and she's 12.

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. So what's the pre-teen take on scotch, eh?

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

That scotch is to be drunk when one is depressed and vodka is to be drunk while hanging out... it took thirty minutes to come to this conclusion...

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Again I say hmmm. For me it's scotch is to be drunk with one's older, sophisticated friends and vodka is to be drunk with one's younger party friends. As I often mix the two groups, I'm forced to drink a lot...

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

XD

I've never had scotch before, but my parents do have some in the house. I'm a rum fan personally.

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Oh, you've gotta try scotch. Only the good stuff, though.
Um, what I mean is, drinking is bad, don't do it :)

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

XD

[lauratd.livejournal.com]

darkly beautiful, I love how he can cry for others, but not realize he needs to cry for himself

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Indeed, good insight there. Thanks.

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

Beautiful piece. Great use of language with this. I like the look back at all of Wesley's failures and how he failed with women. Where was the Virgina love? LOL But it was really great and dark as is.

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, good point about the Virginia love. But then again I think she was just a temporary distraction. Thanks :)

[ladycat713.livejournal.com]

Incredibly sad.

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Yes indeed. Thanks.

[okdeanna.livejournal.com]

Stunningly well written. I can see Wesley sitting beside his bed, and feel the true depth of his pain and loss. Excellent job!

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much!

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Beautiful portrait of Wesley trying to deal with all the heartache in his life. Well done.

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much. I love Wes.

[wereleopard58.livejournal.com]

This brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat