Merl Ficlet, Prompt 003

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

Title: LA or Bust
Author: damnskippytoo
Rating: PG
Word Count: 426
Prompt: 003, Merl
Character: Merl



The stench curling off the Drenrox’s decaying body didn’t really stand out on South Arlington. But, then, demons like Merl with no tongue didn’t exactly have the best sense of smell either.

“Watch where you’re steppin’!”

Champions! All the same. Bossy assholes.

And there were a lot more of them crawling around much to Merl’s displeasure. The extra money was nice when the jackasses would pay, but putting up with the egos wasn’t worth it.

He figured something hinky must be happening in Clevelend. The Powers usually didn’t send their Champions very far from the Hellmouth unless something big was spilling out. And who’d come to Akron if they didn’t have to?

“Sure, no problem, Dick.” One of Merl’s few pleasures was calling Richard, “Dick.” Everyone else called him The Lion out of respect, but he thought Dick suited the jerk better.

Apparently Dick didn’t mind or didn’t feel the snitch was worth the time it would take to snap his neck for it.

Merl moved a few inches away from the spilled guts. Maybe when the savior of mankind wasn’t looking, he could snatch a few small pieces. Just as a tip.

“And don’t get any ideas about selling the entrails. I know what they’re worth. To the victor goes the spoils.” The Prio Motu grabbed a handful of the slimy intestines and stuffed them in his pocket.

“Hey, I am totally on board with that. You slice ‘em, you get the big bucks. I’m perfectly satisfied with my measly finder’s fee. Which, since we’re on the subject...” Merl rubbed his fingers together before stretching out his palm.

Dick didn’t even look up. “I’ll catch you the next time.” Standing, he wiped his hands on Merl’s new coat grinding the Drenrox’s bile deep into the fibers. Walking away he howled with laughter.

Merl stood in place. He watched the shaking back of the warrior, the sound of his mocking laugh grinding on Merl’s last nerve, until the arrogant prick dropped into the sewer out of sight and sound. Then he stared at the slime on his lapel, shook his head and sighed.

“That’s it. I’m moving to LA. Sun, sand, and not a Hellmouth in sight. I mean, City of Angels, right? It’s got to be better than this.”

He turned, heading away from the sewer and toward the west, a little jaunt in his step.

Suddenly, he stopped when a great thought hit him.

“And what’s the chance I’ll run into another asshole Champion in a town that big?”

He slapped his thigh and smiled. Life was going to be good.


End

~*~*~*~*~*~

Living in Akron now (having moved from LA), I can totally sympathize with Merl. Poor schmuck.

Comments

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

Too funny, the poor bastard has no idea what he is in for, does he? But hey, Angel, better than Dick, any day of the week. LOL I loved this. So glad you dropped by with this. Needed the laugh. :)

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

I'm not so sure about Angel being better. At least Dick didn't hang him upside down and leave him swaying in the breeze. ;)

I'm glad I could give you a chuckle. Thanks for feeding!

[wereleopard58.livejournal.com]

LOL famous last words

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading, Lea. Merl really was a schmuck for thinking he could run from his problems. :)

[scarlettlily.livejournal.com]

Hehehe very nice one.

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

*hee* Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

South Arlington, Akron... ah, the memories. I grew up near Akron and have a ton of family members that live in Akron. Living in Columbus now, I have to say that I really miss Northeast Ohio (especially the efficient snow removal, which is seriously lacking in Columbus).

Anyway, onto your fic... great idea. Love this pre-series look at Merl. This was very comical and I really enjoyed it.

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

Hi neighbor! I don't know about that efficient snow removal. They sucked hard during our last blizzard. ;)

Thanks for reading. I love background fics and I'm glad you liked it.

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that the snow removal in Akron is going downhill. Snow removal in Columbus is beyond terrible, but snow always seems to be taken care of efficiently in Wadsworth where my parents live. I haven't been in Akron during or shortly after a snowstorm since about 3(?) years ago when it snowed so much that OSU cancelled classes. When I left Columbus to go to my grandma's house in Akron, the roads up there were good while the streets in downtown Columbus looked like they hadn't even been plowed yet.

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

To be fair, during a typical snow they do a good job. But forget about it if it's coming down hard and fast. They just can't keep up. But I'm sure that's everywhere and not just Akron.