Prompt 028- ATS S3/S4 Drabble

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

Title: Persuasion
Author:  bakatulip
Words: 100
Rating: PG
Prompt: 028 ATS S3/S4
Characters: Lee DeMarco

There are all sorts of ways to get someone to bend to your will.

There were words, blatant threats spilled out detailing what was wanted and what would be done to achieve that goal or sneaking prose to mold the mind. Too time consuming.

There was physical force, a demonstration of muscle and a taste of the storm cloud of imminent pain lingering on the horizon. Too brutish.

Yes, Lee DeMarco knew many ways to get someone to bend to his will. As he left Lorne kneeling over the girl and the carpet turning red, he knew he’d bent him.

Comments

[lauratd.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Excellent. Very noir.

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Dark and really well done. That last line is perfect.

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

Thank you

[imbaskinrobbins.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Fantastic job.

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks

[laurtew.livejournal.com]

Okay, I really like this. On the show, they really glossed over how much watching that girl die hurt him. I like the imagery here. And having Lorne bending over her body is just...you can feel it. Good job!

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I was torn between more of Lee's thoughts and imagery of Lorne cradling the dead girl... I don't know which would've worked better since I only did the one.

[laurtew.livejournal.com]

:::Furrows brow and thinks::: I think you went the right way. It was about how Lee broke Lorne, and Lee didn't care about the girl. Having him see Lorne cradling the dead girl wouldn't have affected him, so that emotion wouldn't have come through. (Now if it had been say, Fred or Wes's point of view, seeing Lorne holding the dead girl would have hurt them because he was hurting. But Lee? Nope. All he felt was triumph in knowing he won.) You totally went the right way.

[wereleopard58.livejournal.com]

So very cool, this rocks

[deird1]

This is excellent.