031 ficlet: The Call of Illyria

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Title: The Call Of Illyria
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Timeline: Angel s5, minutes after NFA ends.
Rating: PG13
Prompt: 031 - Illyria
Characters/pairing: Ensemble
Word count: 200
Summary: It’s the final battle, and the gang seem to be done for… when Illyria calls in a favour from an old (and I mean OLD) acquaintance to help them out. HP Lovecraft crossover.

The Call Of Illyria

The demon army kept coming and the four were backed into a corner, losing. Illyria turned to Angel as she decapitated a demon.

“I do not wish to die like this, halfbreed. I have an idea, but it carries great risk.”

“More than dying?”

“Much more. But he owes me. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh, Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Iä! Iä! CTHULHU FHTAGN!”

California shook as a creature of mountainous size broke through the asphalt, scattering buildings and demons every which way. No mind could fully comprehend his horrific appearance. His scaly body was unfathomably huge, with wings that seemed to shred the rainclouds while his talons scratched at the groaning earth, and somewhere up there was an enormous head with a face full of teeth and writhing tentacles. The demons were like ants to him; within seconds, the entire block was a blood-soaked wasteland.

Cthulhu turned towards the gang, who felt very tiny. The Great Old One’s voice crackled with immeasurable age and malice, turning Gunn’s hair as white as Spike’s.

“THERE. WE ARE EVEN, ILLYRIA. NOW QUIT STALKING ME.”

Then he strode off terrifyingly. The others stared at Illyria, who shrugged.

“We used to date. He cheated on me with Shub-Niggurath.”


Author’s Note: Cthulhu and Shub-Niggurath were invented by HP Lovecraft and are, I’m told, in the public domain. For those of you unfamiliar with Cthulhu, he looks something like this:

Now picture him making out with Amy Acker. I dare ya.

Comments

[redrikki.livejournal.com]

Cute story but a mental image I could do without.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Hehe, sorry about that.

[lauratd.livejournal.com]

As payback for making me imagine Cthulhu macking on Acker, I offer you this:

http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/?date=2003-11-30

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

I *love* Hello Cthulhu. Hell, I even have a cute little plush cthulhu sitting on top of my TV set. He's adorable. Thanks!

[lauratd.livejournal.com]

I gave a bunch of stuffed chhulhus for Solstice one year. Have you seen the Santa Hat Cthulhu and Hawaiian Shirt Cthulhu?

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

And on the Cthulhu theme: http://ohmygods.timerift.net/strips/2007/07/22.php

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

You know, that would explain a LOT. :-)

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

If you're on that page and hit previous a few times Cthulhu is getting some serious screen time... with the whole pretending to be jesus thing...

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Though my favourite is probably Elvis Impersonator Cthulhu (http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/toys/kingcthulhu.php).

[lauratd.livejournal.com]

OMG! That so rocks! I haven't seen those yet. Now I have two solstice presents picked out for the two non- Buffy fans in my sword team who won't want the pulp fiction Buffy veladoras I'm making.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

You know there's a Cthulhu-inspired CD of solstice songs (http://www.cthulhulives.org/Solstice/), right? Featuring such holiday classics as "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fish-Men", "Here Comes Yog-Sothoth" and "Away in a Madhouse"...

[lauratd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the two friends I'll be getting the elvis plushies for already both have it. We've sung some of the songs at my other friend's annual caroling party where we sing everything from medievil carols to Billy Don't be a Hero and "Holiday Rhapsody" the Bohemian Rhapsody parody my friend Tim wrote.

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

I need to go scrub my brain!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Sorry about that. I do have an Illyria/Groosalugg story if that helps any...? :-)

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

Not really. Sorry.

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

Cthulhu! Awesome!!! (mysteriously slimy and dark cookies)

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, evil cookies. *sacrifices them* Thanks!

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Picture him ...

Eek.

No sleep for me tonight, and no dinner.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Good. Gotta stay alert and thin for when the Great Old Ones come to take back the world... :-) Thanks!

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Hee! Were there any 'hideous and fungal growths too horrible to be described by man'? This is great!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I didn't feel like describing... *that* part of his anatomy, haha. Thanks!

[montana-rosalie.livejournal.com]

I like your story, but the image... yuck!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Haha, sorry about that. Thanks!

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

LMAO Too funny. Now that mental image...wow...yeah. Oddly, not entirely repulsed by it. That has to say something about me. I can't even imagine what them dating would be like. I think you need to write some more of that.

How many words is it? Didn't see a word count in the header. It is in the short fic category, right?

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I guess the main problem would be that Cthulhu is the size of a small country and Illyria is... well... Amy-sized.

Hmmm, I thought I'd put the word count in. *rushes off to edit* It's 200, anyway.

Thanks!

[wereleopard58.livejournal.com]

Brilliant, but the mental image can i say ewww LOL

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Haha, if it's any consolation he's about 100 times bigger than her, so you probably won't see much... ;-) Thanks!