Prompt 32 ficlet: She's Tore Up Plenty ...

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Title: She's Tore Up Plenty ...
Author: ubiquirk
Rating: G
Word Count: 490
Prompt: 032, Firefly: Zoe
Characters: Zoe
AN:  Set between the last two scenes of Serenity.

The cargo bay has done sat open to the atmosphere for days now, so it smells like, well, it smells like this desolate moon, which don’t smell like much of anything – leastways not now that the torn up bodies have been removed. But as she climbs up to the next level, entering the smaller, more constrained areas of the ship, Zoe smells the fruity scent of Alliance disinfectant – the same scent that lingers on her skin from the Medic Ship, the scent she’d hoped to wash off once home.

Knicks mar the metal of the corridor walls, catching the skin of her fingers as she probes a gash a good foot and a half long, shining new-metal bright even in the low light, the patina of living scrapped away by crudely made sharp-edged weapons. She presses her hand to the wall momentarily and then keeps moving. Nothing major’s hurt – ship’ll get over such as these right quick.

The damage shows more obvious like in the dining area – Kaylee’s flowers looking a might worse for wear and the sun streaming through the window and straight to the floor as it hasn’t done in years. Her hands run over the back of a lone chair, and she moves it where it would go if the table were still there. The disinfectant smell so strong here it becomes a tang she can taste in the back of her throat, she swallows, trying to imagine mashed protein with too much rosemary instead.

Crew quarters pass in a blur of low light and a forward focus that ignores looking sideways. More bright sunlight pours into the bridge through windows so clean and new, she’s not sure the glass is in till she gets up the steps and into the area proper. Her eyes water a little due to the brightness as she looks out on this overly truthful planet, and some small part of her hopes for rain.

But her eyes adjust, and the pilot’s chair sits there in the unforgiving light. They’d cleaned it, the Alliance types, cleaned it so well there weren’t stains, not even the one from when he’d spilled coffee all over the left front corner. Zoe touches the now pristine cloth of the seat and allows her hand to drift slowly upwards, eyes following. Yes, what there is of it is shiny like new, but her fingers soon drift over rough material and jagged edges of foam. They cleaned it and left it, hole and all – a chair ain’t no one’ll ever want to sit in again. Eyes still watering, she presses her face to the back of the chair, but can’t smell nothing of him in it.

The locker door opens once she fiddles the latch up and to the left. Some things, at least, don’t go changing. The wrench rests solid in her palm, warming quickly as she squats to set to undoing the bolts in the floor.

Comments

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, heartbreaking story.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's great to hear that you found it moving!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

This is beautiful. The juxtaposition of the little everyday damages the ship has collected, and the big ones which have been cleaned up/repressed... Heartbreaking.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm so happy that worked for you! I was trying to build the types of damages and the levels of repression as she moved farther into the ship.

[sahiya.livejournal.com]

Oh God, Zoe . . .

Beautifully sad story.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

Oh man. That is so unbelievably sad, and such a very Zoe way to deal with it. Excellent job.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I love Zoe but find it hard to slip into her head, so this was interesting to do. Glad you liked it and found it in character!

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I can see how she could be difficult to write. We get such fascinating glimpses into different facets of her personality, but she doesn't really have an episode to herself in which we learn primarily about what makes her tick. She's always part of a team, either as half of Zoe and Wash or half of Zoe and Mal, and yet she never comes across as merely that other half somehow. Anyway, I think you did a good job with her.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

You're right - we needed a Zoe-centric episode. She is part of a team, but always very much her own person. Hmmm - maybe 'War Stories' is more Zoe-centric than I'd thought. It's also about the triangle, but she is the pivot point of said triangle.

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

True, she's the pivot, but she's the pivot for their issues. The only question about her that gets answered, really, is when it comes to a question of Mal vs. Wash, she'll choose both, but Wash first. Do we really get any info about her before the war? We get glimpses of most of the others' prior lives, I think, though only brief ones. But not so much Zoe. Damn Fox for canceling the show!

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

I almost did a Zoe before the war thing - this whole thing about how she grew up on a ship instead of a planet - I think it comes from extended (and somewhat dodgy) canon (maybe an official RPG?).

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

Oh, interesting! If you remember where you saw that, please point me to it. And if you ever write that story, you know I'll read it. :-)

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

In 'Heart of Gold' when she's talking to Wash, she says something about being born/growing up on a ship. That's the only canon thing. I can't find the RPG thingy that gave the ship's name.

[(Anonymous)]

Hi,
this is the second fic I've read today that has left me to comment - beautiful, and terribly, terribly sad. Very evocative, and so wonderfully true, in displaying the deep emotions that must have been playing beneath the surface of Zoe's outward stoicism. It almosts hurt to read it in fact.

Ray (kerkevik@planet-save.com)

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I agree - I think she does feel things very deeply, but we're only going to see evidence of it in subtle ways. I'm so glad you liked the story and found it evocative!

[redrikki.livejournal.com]

You certainly have an eye for details. I especially liked the way you kept talking about the smell. It's such an important part of memory and individuality, and yet the alliance seemed to have wiped it clean from the ship in their effort to make it better. Makes for interesting subtext.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's wonderful to hear that the thing I was trying to do with what the Alliance came through! I wanted to show that they could only sterilize a problem yet not see past that to the more human side of things.

[lauratd.livejournal.com]

Great job. You always do such a good job of using seemingly small details to forward your story.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That's one of the things I'm trying to work on in my fic - writing symbolically and how to have all those little details reinforce a bigger mood or theme. Glad you liked it!

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

Wow...I am pretty much comment-less. But in a good way, not in a bad way. This was just so beautiful. Just so perfect. Just amazing.

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's so wonderful to hear that you enjoyed this that much!

[wereleopard58.livejournal.com]

so very beautiful

[ubiquirk.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's wonderful to hear that you found it beautiful!