Prompt 060 Ficlet - Children of the Night...

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

Title: Children of the Night
Author: Lena7623
Rating: PG
Word Count: 660
Prompt: 060 Mary Sue
Characters: Angel, Wesley, and Cordelia
Notes: Takes place near the end of season 1.


Cordelia was sitting at the front desk when the most beautiful women she had ever seen walked in. Cordelia wasn't typically one to admit that another woman was prettier than she was, but this girl was model beautiful. Her luminous blond hair cascaded down to her waist. Her alabaster skin seemed to glow like a pearl. Her gray eyes seemed to hint at the stormy personality that was hidden within. She only wore a simple black strapless dress, but on her it may have well of been a Gucci original made specifically to fit only her.

Angel and Wesley seemed to have seen her as well from Angel's office, because they both came out and starred at her for a moment as well. The woman smiled when she saw Angel. "Father, it's good to finally meet you."

Hearing the name 'father' seemed to snap everyone out of their awe. "Say what? Vampires don't reproduce that way," Cordelia said. She now eyed the woman in suspicion.

"But I am! I am the daughter of Angel and his true and only love, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have traveled from the future to give you the utmost of important messages. I beg of you; you must listen to me," she said, tears brimming her perfect eyes. "My name is Aria Sorrow, and I am here to help with the coming trails and tribulations."

Cordelia could see that Wesley was starting to get suspicious as well. "And just how would you help us with these 'trails and tribulations?'" He took his glasses off to polish them.

"I am a dhampir, the child of a vampire and a human. I have all of the vampire's strengths and none of their weaknesses. I am strong and fast. I am immortal. Nothing can beat or hurt me. I am the chosen one picked by the gods to fight against the coming darkness."

"I thought I was the champion here," Angel mumbled. With an unnecessary sigh, he leaned against the wall. Cordelia could see that he wasn't buying this for a moment. "So, Wesley, should you take this or should I?"

Wesley seemed to catch what he meant. "Actually, I believe that Cordelia would be best for this." He turned to her and smiled. She now knew what he meant as well. "Cordelia, if you please?"

Cordelia stood up and walked around the desk. She walked over to Aria Sorrow so that they were face to face. "Now, let me tell you everything that is wrong with everything that you've said. First off, vampires can't have children. Technically, with the being dead and all, they really can't. Second, when Angel does do the nasty with Buffy, he goes all 'grrr' and evil. If he got loose like that again, I don't think that Buffy would live long enough to bear a child. And third, we all know that pretty people reproduce ugly children. Plus, Aria Sorrow? Who the hell named you? You can't exist!"

Aria Sorrow screamed in pain. "Nooo!!! Logic, my only weakness!" She spun in a circle and erupted into a green flame, only leaving behind a puff of smoke and a nasty smell. "Ewww, she smells like rotten eggs," Cordelia said, holding her nose.

"I think that might be brimstone," Wesley said, walking over to the scorch mark left by Aria Sorrow. "You didn't even mention that time travel is theoretically impossible."

"Next time you can tell the weird freak thing that they can't logically exist," Angel said. "I wonder who sent it."

"It was probably Wolfram & Hart. You would think that that they would send something harder to vanquish." Wesley was still staring at the scorch mark on the floor. "I wonder how they did it."

"Well, they probably didn't expect me and my super powers of snarkiness." Cordelia sat back down at her desk with a grin, pulled out a can of air freshener from a drawer, and sprayed the room.

Comments

[thrace-adams.livejournal.com]

Oh this was priceless! Absolutely priceless!

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[darthsindel1981.livejournal.com]

oh god, lol, with that logic what will Cordy say when Conner is born lol

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

She definitely should have said something. It would have been great, too. Thanks so much for the comment.

[deird1]

Very fun!

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

That was great! And of course one would fight Mary Suism with logic ...

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

There's no other way to fight them. Thanks for commenting!

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Well, I had to comment: I'm the only person I know who not only has an ongoing Mary Sue character, but who actually admmits to it. It's a cold, cold world ... :-)

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Heehee, great fun. My favorite lines: And third, we all know that pretty people reproduce ugly children. and "I think that might be brimstone,"

Great job.

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!`

[redrikki.livejournal.com]

Tasty deep-fried crack.

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

Ha! I try my best.

[lavastar.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, this was so typical Mary Sue...I would say 'it's not even funny', but it was hilarious. I loved it. And the vanquish-y scene was terrific. Really, really awesome.

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

I giggled my way through the writing of the vanquishing scene. I got to bring out all of my melodrama for this. Thanks so much!

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

That. Was. Beautiful.

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

LOL!! I love that logic and snark was the weapon of choice to vanquish her. *g*

[lena7623.livejournal.com]

If anyone thinks too hard on a Mary/Gary-Stu, then they're heads will explode, so I figured that logic would kill the beast.

Thanks so much for the comment!