63 fic - Wishes Of The Restless

[deird1]

Title: Wishes Of The Restless
Author: deird1
Rating: G
Word Count: approx 700 words
Prompt: 063 - songfic (or "poemfic"? maybe?)
Setting: end of BtVS season 4
(A/N - This is based on the Dr Seuss book I Wish That I Had Duck Feet. Apologies for some of my slightly dodgy attempts at rhyming.)

Wishes Of The Restless

I wish that I had super strength.
And I can tell you why.
Then I could kick, and punch, and run,
and jump up really high.

I would beat up all the vampires,
if I was super strong.
And just to keep it interesting,
my friends could come along.

If I had super powers
I would have a lot of fun.
And every time I staked a vamp
I’d say a witty pun.

BUT…
If I did have super strength,
my principal would hate me.
My mother would not understand.
And nobody would date me.

And maybe one day I would have
to kill my broody boyfriend.
SO…
I don’t think being super strong
would be fun, in the end.

Instead of having super strength,
I know what I should do.
I wish that I had Watcher brains
(and I’d be British, too!).

I would polish up my glasses.
And I’d wear a lot of tweed.
And every evening I would choose
a brand new book to read.

I would say “dear lord” and “bloody hell”
and other things like that.
And if I wished to have a pet,
I’d get a zombie cat.

If I had Watcher brains
then I would drink a lot of tea.
And every time a book was needed,
people would ask me.

BUT…
If I was a Watcher,
whenever monsters were about,
they would break into the library
and try to knock me out.

And staying up all night to research
would make me quite tired.
And if I loved my Slayer
like a daughter, I’d be fired.

AND SO…
I won’t have Watcher brains.
They wouldn’t be much fun.
I wish that I had mojo,
and could out-do everyone.

If only I had magic,
I’d achieve my every goal.
I’d protect us all from ghosts,
or give a vampire back his soul.

“I’m the best at everything!”
I happily would gloat.
And all around me, people’s pencils
would begin to float.

And even if I found a spell
I could not manage yet,
At least I’d still be getting
a nice rat as my new pet.

BUT…
Not everything is better
when you put more magic in.
Or maybe I’d, by accident,
produce an evil twin.

And though magic is as easy as
a short walk in the park,
a few years down the track
my future’s looking kinda dark.

AND SO…
I’ve got a great idea.
A much, much better plan.
I wish I was a Zeppo.
Just a standard also-ran.

With my groovy Zeppo powers
I could always save the day.
I would scoff and jeer at danger.
And then I would run away.

I would be great at making jokes
and pulling silly faces.
And I’d have some secret knowledge
for sneaking into army bases.

No undead high school students
could set bombs inside my town.
And if clowns tried to stab me
I would calmly knock them down.

BUT…
Without some super powers,
being Zeppo wouldn’t thrill me.
And every single girlfriend that I had
would try to kill me.

I’d always have to research.
And I’d have to buy the donuts.
So I don’t want to be Zeppo
- I think that job would make me go nuts.

NOW…
Let me think about it.
All these things I want are bad.
And so I wish…
I wish…
I wish…
What do I wish I had?

I need to find the best idea…
I need a better way… Ah!
I know!
I will be all those things!
I’ll be a Combo Slayer!

With the mighty power of library books,
a very special heart,
some magic, and some super strength,
I’d really look the part!

I would sneak into the secret labs,
just because I could.
Then I’d beat up all the cyborgs,
and I’d drop them where they stood.

BUT…
Normal Slayers don’t like Combo Slayers,
so it seems.
They would hunt me down, and find me,
and they’d kill me in my dreams.

AND SO…
I think there are some things
that would not really suit me.
And that is why I think that I
just wish to be a Scoobie.

Comments

[piratescribe.livejournal.com]

This is awesome! I love the little allusions to different episodes throughout the series, finishing off with Season Four :)

[deird1]

Thanks! It was a lot of fun to write.

[redrikki.livejournal.com]

Aw, that was so cute...and it rhymed. I suck at rhyming. I really like the even-handed and funny way you dealt with each characters strengths, weaknesses and downsides.

[deird1]

I have discovered that I can't come up with good rhymes for "Zeppo", "Scoobie", or "Slayer"...

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[dreamincolor.livejournal.com]

-squees- That was so awesome.

And I'm way jealous of your mad rhyming skills. I'd pick out favorite lines..but I really liked all of them! Great job hon.

[deird1]

I'm glad you liked it!

[jade-equirrel.livejournal.com]

Aww. This is fantastic. I loved it! Especially the Watcher part.

[deird1]

Thanks!

(Love your icon, by the way.)

[divadea.livejournal.com]

This totally made my day. Fabulous!

[deird1]

Thanks!

[darthsindel1981.livejournal.com]

that was great

[deird1]

Thanks!

[laiksmarei.livejournal.com]

Very, very cool.

[deird1]

Thanks!

[firefly124.livejournal.com]

OMGs that was great! I absolutely love all the allusions you managed to weave into it!

[deird1]

Thanks!