135 Ficlet Call and Response (Tara)

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Title Call and Response
Author Bruttimabuoni
Rating G
Word Count 201
Prompt 135 The Scoobies react to Joyce’s death
Characters/Pairing (if any) Tara (with Anya, Xander and Willow)



So, it wasn’t just me. When Mom died, I thought I was alone. Thought I was going mad. But now I can see everyone feels like this; I can recognise every reaction around me. I had them all.

Their thoughts echo round the dorm room. So loud even this semi-witch can catch them. I don’t pretend to be wise – only experienced in loss. I want to speak out; tell them what they will discover for themselves. But grief won’t be hurried. So I don’t say much.

I’ve never felt so alone in a room full of people before. It’s shock. It will pass. You’ll reconnect.

I don’t know how to behave. What should I be doing? There’s no wrong. But it’s not all about you.

If this can happen, anything can happen. Yes. It’s scary, but it’s freeing. Life isn’t fixed any more.

I want to take the pain away. Even if it means hurting myself instead. New pain is still more pain, in the end.

I wish it was magic. I understand magic. This is reality. It’s harder.

How can this be the end? Everything ends. But it’s always sudden.

It’s not fair. It’s scary. Who’ll be next?

I don’t have the answers for everything.

Comments

[ladycallie.livejournal.com]

I think most people forget that Tara's been through the loss of a loving parent before. Thank you for reflecting that.

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

In that scene she's the still centre of everyone else's (understandable) neuroses. But that doesn't mean she has no feelings about it. Thanks for reading and commenting.

[deird1]

Nicely done.

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. Tara would have been such a great mom, herself, with her ability to let things be what they are. The last question is also not fair, B. *sniff*

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Exactly - the one that doesn't try to change that which needs to be accepted. It's a strength in itself. (And I know, I know: evil. But I couldn't resist).

[xfirefly9x.livejournal.com]

Nice one.

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I am one of those who do tend to forget how familiar this must have been to Tara - but you have reminded me so beautifully.

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm glad this fragment worked for you - Tara's so quiet, it's easy to overlook her in many scenes.

[ares132006.livejournal.com]

Thank you for Tara's feelings here. I thought Dawn a bitch when she yelled at Tara, telling her she didn't understand, when she did. (If I recall correctly.) But that's not Dawn's fault, Dawn was hurting, grieving for her mother. I understand that, still, it hurt me to see Tara spoken to like that. Tara was only a teen when her mother died too.

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

I think everyone just bereaved gets a free pass, for at least a couple of days. And Tara's the person to understand that - I don't think the serene person we saw was without an understanding of how people act when they're hurting. But it's good to consider the quiet people too, sometimes.

[angelus2hot]

So sad but very beautifully written!

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Sad all round this week, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.