Spike Ficlet: "And Would You Like a Broken Neck with That?"

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Title: And Would You Like a Broken Neck with That?
Author: Sarah
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 215
Prompt: 011 - Free for all - McDonald's
Character: Spike
A/N: Pre-series Spike. Set in 1988 when McDonalds was doing the McDonald's Menu Song Promotion. Kelly and I were discussing how songs could inspire fanfic. I jokingly mentioned the McDonald's Menu Song. She sorta dared me. This is the resulting crack!fic. Previously posted to my journal, so some of you might have already seen it there.

Every once in a while, Spike craved food. Buffalo wings, bloomin’ onions, sometimes his mouth just watered thinking about food. Today was one of those days. He’d woken up thinking of Big Macs, so as soon as the sun went down, he headed for the nearest McDonald’s.

As he walked up to the counter, he couldn’t help but notice the fake smile that was pasted on the kid’s face. “Good evening, sir. Could I possibly interest you in a ‘Big Mac, Mc DLT, a Quarter-Pounder with some cheese, Filet-O-Fish, a hamburger…’”

Spike was stunned for a brief second. He finally realized that the pimply geek was actually singing the McDonald’s Menu Song. He’d just wanted a Big Mac, damn it. This was more than he could bear.

Spike reached across the counter and grabbed the kid by the neck. He quickly twisted the teen’s head and the cracking sound that followed made him feel a bit better. Spike then looked around the restaurant and glared at the four other teenagers who were working there.

“I want a Big Mac, and I want it fast. And I want it without any bloody singing,” he growled.

Two minutes later, Spike walked out of McDonald’s with a smile on his face and a bag of free Big Macs.

Comments

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Oh, Spike. He always tries so hard to be evil, and ends up doing good. Because let's face it, McDonald's is the antichrist. Heh. This was great.

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And you're right, McDonald's is evil. If I was French, I think I would have been tempted to vote for José Bové just on the grounds that he led that attack on a McDonalds in the French countryside.

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

ROFL - This was a great little evil Spike ficlet. :)

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Evil Spike is a lot of fun. Glad you liked it.

[divadea.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that was so fabulous. Of course Spike would crave food - he's all about pleasure, everything is physical for him. And he's all about immediate gratification, thus 15 seconds of singing is more than he can bear. I love it love it love it!
And I'll add my yea vote to the McD's is evil crowd for sure :)

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Spike immediately jumped to mind when Kelly dared me to write something with the McDonald's menu song. And you're right, he is all about pleasure and has no patience, which is rather unfortunate for the poor McDonald's kid. Glad you liked it!

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

Oh how much do I love this story, let me count the ways. I am glad you decided to repost it over here. And see, other people are happy too. You need to listen to me more often, damnit! LISTEN TO ME! TOOOOOOO MEEEEE!

And get back to studying.

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I think I listen to you WAY TOO MUCH. That's what gets me in trouble, LOL.

Back to studying.

[skull-theatre.livejournal.com]

*chortles*

Too funny!

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Thanks! This one was a lot of fun to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[jesterlady]

Loved that! It was so Spike and so random! LOL!

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think Spike himself can be rather random sometimes. Glad you liked it.

[wereleopard58.livejournal.com]

Well when you have an attack of the munchies nothing can stop you, this was so funny

[boy-named-susie.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And you're so right.

[deird1]

Hee! Fun!