still_grrr | Prompt 187 - fic: "Do the Math"

Title: Do the Math

Author:

gillo

Rating: PG 13 for rude language.

Word Count: 313

Prompt: 187, Math(s) and History

Characters/Pairing (if any) Spike, Buffy, Giles

A/N: Season 7, in the cellar at Revello Drive.

"Two hundred years old? Who told you that - the Council of Wankers?"

"It may have been in the relevant file, yes. We had other sources, however."

Spike stopped pacing for a moment. "Sources?"

"Yes. When you first arrived in Sunnydale. We were told... "

"Oh for fuck's sake. You paid attention to that wanker, didn't you? How old did he say he was? And Drusilla?"

"I do not recall precisely. Some two hundred and forty years, I believe."

"And the bleeding rest! He was born in the 1720s. Do the bloody sums, Watcher!"

"A minor mistake over so long a time, surely?"

“Mistake, my arse! He had you believing Dru’s younger than me, right? He sired her twenty years before she met me. And she isn’t anywhere near two hundred yet. Not a day over a hundred and sixty-five, I’ll swear.”

Buffy stopped doodling and fixed him with The Look. “And why, exactly, is it suddenly so important to take Vampire-Dating 101?”

A pause.

“I didn’t say that. Only in the sense of carbon-dating.”

“No carbon in it, pet. Just need to make a point.”

“A point you have made at extensive, nay, excessive, length. It clearly touched a nerve.”

“And so it bloody would with you, you git, if someone asked you what you remembered of something that happened before you were born. I do not remember Keats, the Prince Regent or Jane Austen. The Brontes croaked five years before I was born. And, chip or no chip, the next buffoon who sends the Bit to ask me for eye-witness reports of the Spanish Inquisition is going to get a serious neck injury!”

The wounded vampire retired to snarl and sulk in his corner. Buffy and Giles tiptoed up the stairs. Perhaps it had been wrong to represent Spike as such a good source of material for history reports. But it was funny.